Man, STJ today went by too fast... we had food, drink, movies and fun, and though some notable characters weren't around, we still had a good time.

I found myself stuck in a predicament as i entered the room when the girls were playing mahjong... Don't take me as a pissed man, but it felt like i was thrown off tangent when they pointed out that she wasn't coming, in a matter-of-fact tone, as if i were still pursuing that lost cause. Yes, i've moved on and i'm not hankering after something i cannot have, things have turned out the way they have and i guess it's best left as that. So it's quite awkward in my circumstances when people start asking if i still feel disappointment and broken-ness over a chapter that has closed in my life. What can i say other than "Er... no la, i'm ok." Other words fail to form in my mind as an appropriate answer to that question which i'm still wondering, as i'm writing this, as to why it's still being asked after so long? Weird people.

Time to return to the usual bumming around doing work and training hard. No time, no money, no energy for anything else.

Posts should come from time to time with bigger gaps, don't feel the need to write so much anymore and too busy with other stuff to come online and blog. So, till the next post, cheers and good luck for your cca, academics, social affairs, blah blah blah.

Just a statement floating around in my head:

I think i may have found another drive.

Just a thought, i guess. I'll give it more thought, but for now, it's still an unfinished thought.

They should place a sign outside of school saying: "Warning: do not enter unless thou wish to be mugged by muggers." Cause that's what we all are. School's putting more and more pressure now, and anyone who doesn't start preparing for the A's is gonna sorely regret it. With my immensely lousy grades, (i wish people would stop complaining about getting Cs...) and with or without the shelling i got from my parents the day before, i'm mugging for BT 2 alr. You better start now too.

Sigh, time's a precious resource that slips through your fingers like sand in an hourglass. And unfortunately, in between intensive mugging and training, i see little time to do anything else. Already by helping my team look for team jerseys, i've already overstepped the limits of what my time allows me to do, so i wonder if i have time to go out... on the other hand though, i bet everyone's as busy or even busier than me, so forget it.

At least i'm happy that my canoeing juniors haven't degraded to the level that the rest of the male J1 population have reached. If the seniors thought we were childish and unbecoming of a hwachong student, then the same could be said of the J1s. I don't doubt their academic prowess, but character-wise, they seem less masculine than they ought to be and often partake in seriously childish activities and stunts, sometimes to wow the girls. Geez, anyone would've thought being masculine and macho is dead and women prefer the feminine types, which is so... unorthodox. So much for male camaraderie, bonding, masculinity, and being male, strong and all that stuff. I try to restrain myself from acting on it and beating some sense into these people that they're seriously irritating in their antics and they should grow up and be like men. Or i could actually laugh and torture them in army when i'm their superior then, but this way is easier for them than later when they start realising that the country doesn't want idiots who don't have a strong arm. Ah, but i'm ranting too much, as i've just noticed.

Yay, canoeing STJ's next week, and there's vodka!!! Alright! I wonder if anyone can bring some gin or bacardi as well...

Heh, i just had the National Junior Canoeing Championships last weekend, and on the whole, although hwachong didn't get many medals, at least we did show our worth and i believe that we stand a very good chance at the national inter-sch in july. If you take out all the national team ppl and those that aren't in our age group, i think we stand in a very good position to break NJC's streak and get that trophy after a really desolate, 7 years of near-misses and public acceptance of NJC as the dominating school in canoeing.

The system in NJCC was screwed up, otherwise i would've gotten into the real finals instead of some consolation-prize-excuse of a B final. But well, our timings should say something about us in our absence there.

So now, it's back to more trainings, studying, and solving the main issues with the team, like, the identity, spirit, strength, attitude... I also need to scout for the team jersey and figure out when to hold the team gathering, to get to know the juniors and stuff like that.

Other stuff have been bothering me, but... kinda hard to explain. Nevermind.

It's been some time now... I think it's cos the last time was last year's nationals, so i haven't felt like this in a long time. Maybe recently playing basketball has rekindled that flame in me, so to speak. But anyway, yes, as the entry title suggests:

Hyper-ecstasy.

I decided to go for a run after mulling about it for awhile at home, in the meantime, i was gazing on lazily across the page of the 10 year series, thinking about how it's the last damned paper, and to heck with it, i've got a bloody competition coming up in the weekend, so if you're gonna force something down my throat, do it next week while i go earn some glory for you. Yes, i'm talking to you, the school which always decides to open up the term with blocks rather than ending terms with them. Yes, and i'm ranting again, thanks to my new-found energy.

Back to the subject matter, i ran. Pulled on my blue stanchart marathon adi singlet, nike armband pouch loaded with shuffle, socks on, shoes on, stretching... and i'm off. To where? Nowhere. Just keep moving, cos i've got nothing on my mind. Nothing... but pure ecstasy. For some unknown reason, i felt happy as i was running. I realised later, that it was probably cos of the music that i was listening to that psyched me up. The music's pumping in my ears, the beat of the music thumping to the same rhythm as that of my heart, and the resonance of frequencies as something clicked in my mind, absorbing the music as if it were pure energy. Couldn't stop myself from smiling throughout the whole run, and there were lapses of unadulterated euphoria, normally signalled by the onset of maniacal laughter and contortion of face into that of a madman's. And truly in my mind, i felt powerful, invincible, had endless energy... and well, a bit insane. But the sense of power, a surge, unleashed in the form of a body in motion. Euphoria. Ecstasy. I'm crazy, mad, insane, or whatever you call it, but i ran probably 8-9km in 35 mins. And i loved every single bit of it. It's what kept me going, pushed me, and as i've felt it before in unleashing it upon my opponents on the proving grounds that is macritchie last year during nationals... It's part of me, my source of energy, my dark side: i'm crazy and that's how i got my name. Crazy nick.

But well, don't worry, that's only reserved for canoeing and other related activities. I may be crazy and insane, but there's no reason not to be unsociable eh?